Monday, November 7, 2011

Which Witch Was Really The Wicked Witch?

One of the highlights of this time of year is the multiple showings of the 1939 classic "The Wizard of Oz" on TBS.  It is one of my favorite movies...how can you not like the lollipop guild and a horse of a different color?  But then I began asking questions and we all know that always leads to a dangerous place.  


It started out innocently by wondering to where the red brick road led.  I posed this question to my sister, who responded with "It leads to championships."  Talking about, of course, the 2011 World Series Champion St. Louis Cardinals, our hometown team.  As much as I agreed with this answer, I was still curious.  Then the magical thinking box came to the rescue and the great and powerful wizard named Google answered this question.  


Apparently, there are four regions of Frank L. Baum's Land of Oz; Winkie Country is yellow, Gillikin Country is purple, Munchkin Country is blue, and Quadling Country is red.  Since the Good Witch Glinda is ruler of the Quadling Country (and apparently if you watch the bubble she floats in on in the movie, it follows the red brick road), the red brick road leads to Quadling Country.


OK, curiosity satisfied...at least for now.  I then began to take a closer look at Dorothy Gale, the innocent farm girl who gets swept away in a tornado.  This led me to the conclusion that Dorothy Gale is not so innocent as we all think and here is why:

  1. She doesn't keep her dog on a leash - This whole being swept away in a tornado problem would have been solved had she just been a good citizen and leashed her dog.  The dog wouldn't have bitten Miss Gulch and would; therefore; not be in trouble of being destroyed.  She wouldn't have run away and could have gotten into the storm shelter with the rest of the family.  So just remember this, always leash your dog or a tornado might sweep you way to Munchkin Land.
  2. She runs away from home - No innocent person just runs away from home.  So she was upset that no one was listening to her (granted I would have been upset too had a mean lady wanted to take my dog away), but Auntie Em and Uncle Henry were in the middle of a crisis.  They had bigger things to do at the moment, like fix the incubator for the baby chicks.  They are farmers, having livestock is kind of important to their livelihood, especially with the mean Miss Gulch trying to take everyone's land.  If they didn't fix the incubator, all those poor little chicks would had died and they would have lost the farm.
  3. She steals - ...ruby slippers.  They magically appear on her feet at the doing of the "Good Witch" Galinda and Dorothy doesn't question this at all.  The Witch of the West was just trying to get her sister's property back after someone dropped a house on her.  I'd be pretty pissed too if someone dropped a house on my sister and would want her awesome, shiny, red shoes back.  Just because someone tells you to take something does not make it OK to do so.
  4. She runs around with strange men - Obviously, Dorothy did not pay attention to the rule of "never talk to strangers."  She gets into Professor Marvel's wagon when she had just met him.  Not only that, but later running around with three strange men...innocent girls don't do that!
  5. She abuses animals - She smacks The Cowardly Lion on the nose.  That's not very nice.  And what about the apple trees?  She starts tugging and pulling on their branches to get the fruit.  Those apples belong to the trees (so not technically an animal, but it goes with the theme).  So we are back to being a thief!  And what about when they get their wishes from the Wizard of Oz?  Did Toto get a wish?  Do his desires not matter?  It's all about Dorothy; poor little Toto doesn't get his wish.  Maybe that's why he jumped out of the hot air balloon as they were about to leave.
  6. She gets high in a field of poppies - So now we are into drug use.
  7. She kills people - Not just one person either!  She kills two people, sisters at that!  What does Dorothy have against this poor family?  And she does it in some seriously messed up ways...dropping a house on someone and melting another.  Girl has some anger issues.
All this leads me to the conclusion that Dorothy was not an innocent farm girl.  Animal abuse, drug use, robbery, and murder...yeah, not so innocent now is she?  All signs point to psychopath!  And the "Wicked Witch of the West"...she's just trying to get her dead sister's property back after someone dropped a house on her...that doesn't sound so wicked to me.